I am what one might call directionally challenged (See a past blog post for more examples). And so, I don’t really know why I resisted getting Google Maps on my phone. I only got a smart phone in 2015 after I realized that my siblings were sending pictures to each other that could not load on my tiny texting-only phone. But I did not want to be constantly wired in to the internet and the idea of google maps felt like cheating. Ah the good old days. Before google maps a walk to a new place involved me studying a map on the computer furiously, even making a small drawing on a scrap of paper with the streets scrawled in so I would remember which turn to take. Any deviation from the path I had plotted on paper meant disaster.
This directional stupidity of mine has always been something I have had to wrangle with while traveling. It was a fatal flaw in Madagascar where the streets have no visible names and the buses have no stops. The first time I had to pick up a volunteer from the city Tulear by myself and bring them back to Ifaty we ended up in several towns over because I could not recognize which clump of bushes along the red dust road meant we were nearing the camp. Later I memorized a string of visual cues: the mangroves, the village with the ocean visible on the left, the old hotel with sun-faded blue gates, and I was able to call out to the driver to stop at the right time. Or close enough. Even when I had my cues mapped out, it still took an enormous amount of concentration to pay attention to notice them. I think Madagascar will always be the epitome of my misdirectionlessness. But even when traveling to other places I still needed the planning, or at least a map. I remember wandering in Puerto Natales in Chile with my nose stuck in the tiny map printed in a Lonely Planet guidebook unable to find my hostel. It’s annoying to be lost at its best and terrifying at its worst, but it makes getting to your destination that much sweeter. Like you’ve earned it. Maybe that’s why I resisted Google Maps at first. But, as you can imagine, I did not resist for long.
The thing is, Google Maps is so darn convenient. And it’s such a big part of how I operate now. Do I still get lost? Yes. Just a lot less frequently. And so, thanks to Google Maps when I arrived in Santiago, I arrived without having done any prior research about the layout of the city, and the most amazing thing about that was that not knowing didn’t bother me. That insouciance is what Google Maps has gifted me. But it comes at a price, and that price is a slice of common sense.
It was the Saturday after I had arrived in Santiago. The Fulbight orientation was over and I was going to leave Santiago for Concepción the next day. In my day to explore the city, I went to the Barrio Bellavista where I visited Pablo Neruda’s house, La Chascona. I felt buoyed by the great experience and continued on with my list of tourist stops to the Cerro San Cristobal. It’s a large city park (722 acres) on a hill and has a cable car (funicular) to go up to the top. My plan was to go up with the funicular to see the view of the city and walk the way down. When I asked the ticket vendor, she said walking down would take 45-50 minutes.
The first part of the plan went well. The funicular was a several minutes of fun and the view of Santiago was impressive, if hazy from the smog. After enjoying the view for a few minutes I decided to begin my walk back down to the starting point. The first challenge was to find the path to go down. After a lot of wandering and asking around, I did find it: a little dirt path with a signpost. Excellent! Everyone loves a good signpost. I thought to myself, the hard part is over. The path descended down in a series of switchbacks. The views of Santiago stayed impressive but there was very little tree cover. The first dent in my most excellent plan was that it was 3PM, sweltering hot, and I was not prepared. I had no hat, no snacks, and no sunblock. At least I had the presence of mind to refill my water bottle. Unfortunately, that’s where my presence of mind stopped.


The path was well-populated and at a cross-road where everyone else went right, I went left. Why you ask? The reason was the the sign pointed to a destination that Google Maps said was really close to the entrance of the park, which is where I wanted to end up. And so, as Google Maps makes me much smarter than everyone else (*sarcasm sign*) I followed the path to the left.
The lack of people on the path should have been my first clue something off. The half-mended holes that gaped into the path should have been another. As should have been trashed that was clearly left behind by construction workers. And, for some weird reason, I pushed on. My phone told me I was following a path that existed, so gosh darn it, I was! No matter that on Google Maps the path seemed to end abruptly in the solid green somewhere far to the right of where the entrance to the park was. But, that was obviously a bug in the application; all paths have to go somewhere. There was a signpost for goodness sakes! And then, when I passed some eerie abandoned houses, I just did not want to retrace my steps. I had picked a path and gosh darn it, I would see that path through! Then I came to the end of the solid line on my phone. The path did look it continued, but, according to my phone, I had overshot the entrance to the park by a lot and the path looked unwaveringly straight. Luckily, when I zoomed into the map on my phone there was a dashed zigzagged line that split off from the solid white one close to where I was. And lo and behold, there was a tiny furrow that split off from the path’s and disappeared off the mountain shoulder. Eureka! This would lead me out of the park!

Unfortunately it was obviously a mountain bike path which made me a bit a nervous about being run over by mountain bikes so I ran down as fast as I could. I made it to the end without being trampled or falling on my face. After catching my breath, I saw that the path had left me off on a paved road right in front of sign with an angry red crossed out stick figure pointing back to the path I had just descended. I checked my phone, and though there appeared to be zero roads where I was standing, there was only an itty bit of green that separated me from the civilization. Or so it seemed. Remember, the Cerro San Cristobal is a really big hill, and is quite steep. So what looked like a little strip of green on my phone was actually quite a steep woody obstacle course. As I had only just escaped the mountain bike path unflattened I did not want to return the way I came and risk further possible flattening. So, I chose the road that did not exist on my phone and was clearly under construction.
Unfortunately again, the road went up (the wrong way! I wanted to go down!) and so I trudged along with increasing panic. I also passed some pretty clear, “Construction! Do not enter signs!”. These signs were more stress-inducing than the fact that this road was taking me away from the edge of the park. What if I met someone and they scolded me?! The horror! And so, I followed this road that did not exist on Google Maps, which involved scrambling around a fence that read “do not enter” (thanks, I got the memo!), and then through red tape that said “Peligro!” (thanks, but a little too late for that!), and then through some rather scratchy brush (fuck this road, I’m getting out of here!). I finally ended up back on the first path that I had turned off of, a little bit before the mountain bike furrow. And so, with much relief and without any hesitation I retraced my steps.
Funny thing is that retracing my steps took around twelve minutes, but my detour cost me over an hour. On the way back, I saw several signposts that ought to have been clues that I was going the wrong way, or at least that my short cut would have been 3.5 km long if I had followed it all the way through. And so, I walked back to the crossroads and picked the path that I was supposed to take. I looked down, hoping that no one would notice my counter-directionality and my oddly disheveled state. The best part of this whole experience, is that the path that everyone else had taken dropped me right off at the entrance of the park where I wanted to end up.
I’m not sure if there really is a moral to the story. I guess the silver lining is, even though my overconfidence in Google Maps is what got me lost and scrambling through construction sites in an urban park (An urban park! I got lost in an urban park for over an hour! How???), Google Maps is also what kept me from panicking outright. Because, even though my blue dot was turned around in the monochromatic green part, I could still point to exactly where I was. And that’s oddly comforting.

Creepy sights along the way. 
Oops. 
Double oops. 
The road that did not exist.













